Language Evolution

A few years ago, I was on the phone with a friend and when I wanted to wrap up the call, I said, "Well...I'll letchya go." She replied, "Have I been held captive all this time?"

Nothing snide was meant by it, just an observation of how we all phrase things. But I've tried really hard never to use that phrase again.

At about the same time, our newsroom's proofreader, a very proper man without whom the writers would all be in big trouble, said that he couldn't stand it when service workers replied,"No problem" to his "Thank you." Probably one of us less evolved in the room had said it to him. His argument was, although he put it much more eloquently at the time, if you're a service worker, then, no: It shouldn't be a problem to serve.

I was impressed by that. Didn't agree or disagree, and have never been especially offended by that phrase myself, but I've tried really hard never to use it again.

A few weeks ago, I was watching a movie in which a human resources drone flew all over the country to meet face-to-face while she fired scores of people. The reaction of the folks on the receiving end of the ax hit brutally true to life, spanning the range of those not-so-good human emotions. But what struck me was the language she used.

She sat through these horrible meetings as stony as an Easter Island monolith, and like an automaton, said, "I want you to open the packet I've placed before you." "I need you to think of this as an opportunity..."

I kept thinking to myself, why aren't these people throwing the packet at her?
"Really? You're firing me...and you want me to open the packet? Really? I want you to insert the packet someplace dark and snug."

What a sense of ... I don't know. Arrogance, entitlement and overblown authority don't really seem to cover it for me.

Unless you're that dreaded mean teacher keeping law and order in an unruly third grade classroom, there are so many better ways of conveying those messages. How about, "I'd like you to open the packet I've prepared for you"? How about, "Please think of this as an opportunity..."

I've begun listening more closely to how people phrase things to catch an underlying message, and it's interesting. No one generation or gender seem to own this imperious communication style. I think it's our language and our culture evolving, and that's pretty telling.

Believe me, whether it seems like it or not, I'm a lot more careful about what I write than how I say things. So I know I'm guilty of barking orders or brusquely giving directives, or even monosyllabic answers, no niceties. But I'd like to think that I can become more mindful of the tone I use and the words I choose when I speak.

As my mother used to say when we wanted something, "We'll see."
I'm still trying to interpret that one.
Are there any turns of phrase that caught your ear and maybe stuck in your craw lately?